


After

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Dom Hux, sub Kylo [17]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Consensual Violence, M/M, Subdrop, dom!hux, no injury, sub!Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:42:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Aftercare, and emotions.





	

After an intense session, Kylo always gets like this. Always. He goes quiet, first. Pale. Twitching at the slightest, perceived motion or sound. His eyes stare out into the distance, blinking too much, or not at all.

Hux has played rough with others before, but no one takes a beating quite like Kylo does. Sometimes it’s sexual, othertimes it’s purely cathartic. If he does it right, Kylo can’t even get it up. If he flogs him just right, the man floats on the agony as if he’s already come, his cries getting softer and more beautiful as they fall from his lips. 

His porcelain skin stains bloody, but not for long; the worst of the marks always fade. If he wants it to last for longer, he has to use something stingier than the floggers, or perhaps the whip. But to use those, you have to build him up to it. Force or not, he’s Human, after all.

Today, Kylo is in one of those ‘don’t need to come’ phases, and Hux is hard, but ignoring it. When Kylo comes down enough, he’ll usually try to give him sloppy, uncontrolled head. Hux actually likes that better than when the man’s trying properly, because it feels… sincere? And feels more like him: messy, slobbery, heartfelt. Hux never pushes for Kylo to engage with him sexually when he’s this beaten, though he might jerk off over his body if he’s wound up enough.

Today is a day he can let his boner wait.

Hux gets… a little mellow, too. Usually. He’s _certain_ that Ren is pulling some Force crap on him, because no one he’s blown steam off with before has ever made him want to hang around long after. Check for no permanent injuries, check they can say their name and walk, send them out the door.

But Kylo… gets cuddly. After the distance, he twitches until Hux wraps his arm around him, tugging him under his wing. Fingers down his arm, nose in his hair. Maybe the odd word of comfort, of praise. The screams had been beautiful, and the release when Kylo had _gone_ had left them both coasting on the steady blows for half an hour, until his arm tired and Kylo’s mind wandered too far.

He feels the Knight sigh heavily, and there’s a nose under his ear.

“Do you love me?”  


Hux’s mind stops.

Just stops.

Of course he doesn’t. What a stupid thing to ask! This is… this is release. His anger, Ren’s self-loathing. (Ren’s anger, his self-loathing.) This is a mutually beneficial arrangement. It’s physically satisfying.

It’s not love. It isn’t love.

It can’t be, because Hux doesn’t really believe in it. It’s just… it makes sense. It feels good. And he… he… likes to see him… _happy_. Likes to see him walk with less weight on his shoulders, more bounce in his step. Likes to feel the brush against his mind from time to time. Likes how Kylo is so utterly fixated on making him feel good, right up until the moment he asks for something in return. 

But it’s not a selfish ask. It’s an agreed upon thing. They have sex. They get release. Kylo worships and adores him, and Hux… beats him.

Like… a dog.

He pulls him hard to his side. “W-why are you asking such nonsense?” he asks, in a voice that is not his. It comes from his mouth, form his larynx, but it _is not his_.

Kylo _shakes_ , and tries to pull away. 

This is not the time to talk about feelings. It is _never_ the time to talk about feelings, but especially not **now**. Nothing they could say now would be true (it would be too true), and nothing they say now can easily be forgotten (Ren could make him forget, if he asked, if he asked nicely).

“T-think I should… go…”  


Oh, fuck. He can see the utter devastation on Kylo’s face. The way his whole universe crashes down. It’s like he’s destroyed something, like he’s found some tiny spark of Light still in the blasted man and snuffed it out forever.

“Kylo…”  


He tries to stand, but his legs shake, and Hux has to catch him. That is the final catalyst, and Kylo bursts into tears. It explodes out of him, and Hux _knows_ this is the subdrop. **Knows** this is the adrenaline leaving. But he also _knows_ that he **hates himself** for making Kylo feel like nothing.

Does he? Does he love him? He isn’t sure he can call it that. 

“Kylo, please,” he says, as the Knight tries to fight him off. “You’re not in the right frame of mind.”  


“I’d never ask you, never!” the man blurts out. “Because you don’t care! You don’t care for me, no one does!”  


Kylo is strong, and Hux knows this. He grabs for his wrists, and he forces him back down onto the bed. Kylo could use the Force itself at any moment, but he has to show him he means business. He slams the man’s hands into the bed, and straddles his lap, asserting his dominance all over. 

“I care for you. I care for you a lot. I don’t know if it’s love, or if it’s enough for you, but there you have it. And I will _not_ have you push my hand again.”  


“…you do?”  


“Ren, would I lie to you?”   


Okay, so Kylo has every right to think he might, but Hux tries to convince him that it’s not the case. It isn’t, right now. He isn’t lying.

“But you don’t love me?”  


“It’s - it’s… I don’t know,” he admits. “But I do care. I… want what’s best for you, Kylo. No matter what it is.” Even if it meant stopping, though he’d be heartbroken if they did.   


He likes… this. He likes seeing the man below. He likes… the power he gives him. And he likes him. Like, a lot.

“But you might love me? One day?”  


That’s all? That’s all he wants? The possibility he won’t be hated? It’s so fucking awful to know how little the man thinks of himself, how low he values himself. It makes something hot and angry and protective flare in him. 

“I… truly hope so.”  


Kylo squirms, but it isn’t trying to be bad. He’s begging for touches again, and Hux drops over him, scooping him into his arms. He uses his weight to reassure him, before rolling them to their sides. 

“I hope you do,” Kylo whispers. “I want it to be you.”  


Hux squeezes him tighter. He deserves so much better than him. So very, very much better.

“So do I,” he admits. “It’s okay. It’s okay, now. You can come down. I’m here. It’s safe.”  


It will take some time of repeating that, stroking and soothing. Nothing he would have wanted to do with anyone else.

Just him.

Maybe it is love, or the start of it, at least. 


End file.
